


Living Alone

by orphan_account



Category: Inception (2010), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anorexia, Eating Disorder, M/M, Pining, Songfic, it's sad and stuff so yeah, nope it's not, this isn't a nice story at all, ummm - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 09:24:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1545806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scotty misses Eames a lot, to the point that he starts to destroy himself. This isn't a nice story; it's an outpouring of emotion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Alone

I’ve heard there was a secret chord   
That David played, and it pleased the Lord   
But you don’t really care for music, do you?

Scotty didn’t know what exactly he’d done wrong. He just knew that there was an aching, gaping hole in his life, and he didn’t know how long it would be until it was filled. He didn’t even know if it would.

It goes like this   
The fourth, the fifth   
The minor fall, the major lift   
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

All he knew was that it had already been a long time since the pain of separation had begun, and the days were stretching out in front of him with no end in sight. His partner had promised to be back by his birthday, then Christmas, then Easter, then he didn’t know but he did know that he would come back, someday.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah   
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

And so Scotty waited, living his life, staying faithful. He made money, ate, worked, paid the rent on their shared flat. It was harder without the other man there, but he managed by working two jobs and working extra shifts. He matured while the other man was away. His face lost its babyish softness, replaced by lines that spoke of worry and the constant grind of helplessness. His friends and colleagues noticed, of course, but they didn’t say anything, figuring that he would speak up when he needed to.

Baby I have been here before   
I know this room, I’ve walked this floor   
I used to live alone before I knew you.

The day Scotty had to move out, forced into a smaller, single-room flat by the failing economy and his growing expenses, he began writing letters. They were never sent, simply shoved into the bottom drawer on his desk. Someday, maybe, when he got word, he’d send them. But there was nothing. Scotty found himself losing weight quickly. He couldn’t be bothered to cook more than small meals. He told himself that his life was just like it had been before he met the other man, that he was fine, that living this way was perfectly healthy. And yet, there was that voice in the back of his head. Because of it, he walked through life with a dull-eyed look, mechanically doing what he could to keep up with the world.

I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch   
Love is not a victory march   
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Then came the day he collapsed at work, standing as a clerk at a local grocer’s. His friends and coworkers had been urging him for a while to see a doctor, but he brushed them off. He couldn’t afford medical bills right now. Even Eames’s bank accounts from the Fischer job were beginning to run dry, with the cost of the moving to the suburbs and having to find a new job. And then he had to wake up in a hospital bed, with a concerned-looking man standing over him.

There was a time when you let me know   
What’s really going on below   
But now you never show it to me, do you?

The doctor told him he’d been starving himself, that there was very little fat or muscle on Scotty’s bones anymore. The man asked him what had happened to make him destroy himself, but Scotty didn’t have an answer. He just shook his head and let the heartache in his eyes show through. The man left him alone then with a quiet apology and a promise to make Scotty well again.

And remember when I moved in you   
The holy dove was moving too   
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

When Scotty was released, on stern orders to stay healthy, he simply nodded and got another job to pay for the bills. He’d sell the car only if he had to. He tried to feed himself, he really did, but there was an emptiness in his chest that nothing could fill. He stayed skinny, growing old beyond his years even as he should have been in his prime. He couldn’t forget the man who had danced with him, once upon a dream. And so he kept waiting. But he couldn’t let that hole heal. Any attempts left him off food for days at a time, so he stopped even trying. He retreated from his friends, only going out to work and buy food. The only thing he could do was to wait, and hope, but hope was growing thin and Scotty’s numbered days were growing shorter every day.


End file.
